March 2011
2 posts
4 tags
Runs in the family
My cousin posted the other day, some things his wife mispronounces. I’m beginning to think it’s a regional issue!
excape for escape
exetera for etcetera
Then friends started chiming in with these:
warsh for wash
winder for window
spatchuler for spatula
expeshully for especially
reef for wreath
touchEE for touche
piZZa for pizza
scaret for scared
Just had to share these!
...
3 tags
Wired
My daughter has to get her heart “rewired” more or less and my parents will be here to go to the hospital with me. Bless my mom, she keeps talking about it…
“Now, how are they gonna were her heart again”?
“What weres are they looking for, in her heart”?
“I wonder if the wereing is wrong in my heart”? (she was just diagnosed with heart...
December 2010
1 post
3 tags
Grandma
Why does she refer to herself in first person AND as grandma…the entire time we’re visiting for the holiday?
“Now, grandma is getting older….” (meaning herself…and she’s not, she’s only 60!)
“Grandma can’t see too well…..”
“Grandma didn’t need this (whatever gift she was opening)….”
but she sure...
November 2010
2 posts
4 tags
Mandarin
Mom said she didn’t eat much today, didn’t feel too well. But at lunch she had mandareen oranges, which she really likes.
By the next day, she was doing better. Must have been those cute little oranges :)
1 tag
Diseases
My mom loves to butcher the names of diseases….she tries so hard to relay the latest ailment of my family members to me (or diagnosis over the phone)
The latest is something someone in the family is suffering from…
it’s not just Gout…it’s THE GOUT
Why she feels the need to but “THE” in front of it is beyond me, but it almost makes me giggle to hear her...
October 2010
3 posts
3 tags
modern family was hilarious
OH it was perfect that one of the story lines was all of Gloria’s mispronounciations….
2 tags
Mirror
Never was this able to stay clean for more than an hour when I was younger, home with 3 brothers…they were pigs
Who spit toothpaste on the mur?
Clean the mur when you clean the faucet.
I need one of those murs that has a magnifying side.
2 tags
Riled
This isn’t mispronounced, it’s just used a lot! And I didn’t realize it until I saw a tweet from Jillian Michael (from The Biggest Loser) use it yesterday.
You’re dad is all riled up over the election.
You always rile up your brothers over the silliest stuff.
You can’t bring your dog here, they get so riled up.
Quit rilin’ up your nephew!
I don’t...
September 2010
6 posts
4 tags
Fire
Always afraid we’d get hurt, open flames were highly discouraged when growing up.
“Get away from that far.”
“No, you can’t go to the bonfar, you could fall into it.”
“Our house caught on far Christmas day when I was young.” (true story)
I’m surprised we were never told we’d pee the bed if we played with fire…. :)
6 tags
Fly Around
Mom doesn’t mispronounce this but it’s one of her favorite expressions. And as the only daughter, I heard it A LOT as my only dating advice:
“Fly ‘round, fly ‘round till you land on a cow pile”
Yes, that’s right…”dating” around can land you in a pile of shit in the end.
She says it’s a passed down expression…..lol
3 tags
Pillow
My mom’s excited about her new car, a small compact that she can actually see over the steering wheel to drive! My mom is only 5’.
I don’t need a pilla to sit on to drive anymore!
If you make me 2 pillas for Christmas, that would be great!
You know your dad has to bring his favorite pilla when he travels.
Glad she’s feeling back to normal now! Back to herself :)
4 tags
Too Young
My mom is having heart issues…she’s too young to deal with such things. Very scary…and I’m not allowed to talk about it, she tells me not to worry.
Her sister died of heart disease and her mother had a heart attack…so it’s a daunting atmosphere right now.
In all of this she calls to tell me how much my niece loves the Little Red Ridin’ Hood stories she...
4 tags
Birthday
For some reason, it’s either she just says it too fast or just never bothered with the “th” sound….
My granddaughter’s birfday is Sunday.
I’m not looking forward to celebrating my birfday.
When is the last time you had a birfday cake?
No matter how old we get, she always remembers our birthdays, sends us a card with money and gives us a call….
1 tag
I told you so
I have to digress again to post my mother’s “I told you so”
Now, her only knowledge of planes or Las Vegas is from television, mainly CSI or the other shows that portray the “real life” tragedies….so for her to worry about my safety while traveling for work, is only exasperated by these scenarios.
Not only do I view and live life differently than she does, she...
August 2010
18 posts
2 tags
My mothers' calls...
I’m diverging from the mispronunciations to relay my mom’s frantic calls about my pending work trip:
“Call me, I was praying last night for you and Jesus told me to call you and get all of your trip information. I need the name of your hotel, the phone number of the person you’ll be with, the flight number”
This was at midnight. She called twice. She gets up at...
5 tags
Peony
I’m going to visit my mom over the weekend. These flowers were her mother’s favorite…so I was reminded of it this AM when I saw my dying plant :(
I love the smell of peenies.
I grew hot pink peenies this year.
We planted peenies in the cemetery.
They really are a beautiful flower…just like my mom!
5 tags
Tomorrow
The way she tackles this could actually be a girls name.
When will you be home tamarra?
Your brother’s birfday is tamarra. (Have to discuss the other one another post)
Tamarra is my last day of vacation.
My mom deserves a whole bunch of tomorrows….
5 tags
Hour
When I hear this word, I am reminded of my grandma, I remember her saying it the same way.
You have one aire until your daddy gets home.
Nothing good goes on that time of aire.
It take you an aire to fix your hair!
Sometimes I think it’s just said too fast but she does have a lot to do in a day, so maybe that’s the reason!
4 tags
Flour / Flower
Of course when said, you have to have the entire sentence to know which item you’re discussing. But, adding to the mystery of which item…is changing its pronunciation.
I’m planting the flears you gave me, in my garden.
Could you pick up a bag of flear at the store?
My mom’s favorite flears were peenies. (That last one is another word for another day)
My mom deserves...
5 tags
Mango
Now this is a complete substitution that I never knew until I was much older, moving away from my hometown. Green Peppers were never called their simplistic name…even in restaurants ordering pizza, this was the topping. I’d never knew of the fruit until adulthood (shocking)
Order a large pizza with mushrooms, mango and onion.
Stuffed mangoes are best with mashed potatoes.
Red and...
4 tags
Stairs
Maybe it’s because we almost always had sets of them in our homes growing up and it was just something I never picked up before…but now, to hear it, it stands out like a sore thumb. It’s really almost steer and star combined, but I can’t seem to combine the two perfectly.
I had to drag cleaning supplies up and down the steears today.
I always blocked the steears when you...
5 tags
Lunch box
This is less than a “mispronunciation” and more of a “replacement reference”
To have a packed lunch was a special occasion, you just reserved those treats for field trips or last days of school. Rarely did we get to use a lunch box before the rust found its way into the corners of it by the end of school year.
But, on those days, mom packed it.
Your bucket is sitting...
4 tags
Worried
Imagine being in an overprotective house…and hearing how your life could end at any moment because your mother wasn’t there to protect you…that was my life. (This one is tough to relay, I can’t begin to spell how it’s actually said!)
Where were you? I was so were-id!
All you want to do is make me more were-id about you, don’t you?
You have no idea how...
4 tags
Around
Never mind there’s a vowel at the beginning of the word, you don’t need it.
Fly ‘roun, fly ‘roun till you land on a cow pow.
(triple whammy; her mother’s old saying and TWO words she likes it mess with..see previous submission for “pow”)
You never come ‘roun to visit anymmore.
We drove ‘roun the parking lot for such a long time!
But it...
4 tags
Teeth
Going to the dentist was not a favorite event in my house. We lived in the country and lived on well water, so our teeth were always being worked on. My brother even bit our dentist so hard once, he was bleeding.
Go brush your teef before we leave.
You didn’t brush your teef.
The toofairy won’t come until you’re asleep. (even plural…still couldn’t get it)
She...
3 tags
Pretty
Now I know this is probably a dialect thing….
What a purty day outside!
Your makeup looks purty today.
My granddaughters are so purty.
Always makes me giggle….
3 tags
Pile
My mother created the Batman and Robin expression, blazed with sharp exclamation on the comic book pages.
Come back here and clean up this pow of toys on the floor!
Quit throwing your clothes in a pow, hang them up!
(to all of us: )Don’t pow on top of your brother, you’ll suffocate him!
Always said with force and authority…
3 tags
Yellow
Now I know the book Ol’ Yeller epitomizes the mispronunciation of the color better than anything in literature…but to grow up hearing another version makes it that much more interesting.
You shouldn’t wear yella, it doesn’t look good.
That shirts lookin’ a little yella, isn’t it?
Boy, doesn’t she have bright yella hair?
Even it’s use was bundled...
1 tag
Derelict
At first my dad swore my mom made up the word. He couldn’t imagine it was even real.
Of course, when he won’t complete a project, she calls him one behind his back, in the most loving way possible.
That derelick is worthless.
Don’t act like a derelick, finish your front steps!
He was the biggest derelick in high school.
It’s one of her favorite words….
2 tags
Washed
Nothing ever gets clean without going to war in my mom’s house. Literally, she’s on a mission….
I worshed your clothes for you, they are in the dryer.
You can worsh the vegetables before you cut them for dinner.
As soon and I worsh and dry my hair, I’ll be ready to go.
She’s the best housekeeper in the world..she really is….
4 tags
Vomit
Truly…how in the world can you not know how to say this…but from the moment she brought the giant caning pot to catch our sickness, it’s been…
Vomick in this, don’t miss the pot.
I’ll hold your hair back so you don’t get vomick in it
(overheard on the phone with her sisters) “She’s been vomicking for over an hour”
But she made...
5 tags
Ear
It’s prime corn on the cob season….and according to my sweet, loving mom, the “years” of corn are boiling on the stove.
Years of corn
Did I clean my years
I didn’t need to get my years pierced again, one hole is enough.
I love my mom to pieces, she makes me giggle at her complete careless attitude towards what she says.
